Between My Brother and Me: Mea Culpa
by Green Phantom Queen
Summary: Part of the Between: Mors Omnibus stories. The events that lead to Dawn being repurposed happened over the course of an entire day. While she believes that this is all her fault, in truth, the blame falls upon those who cared for her and ultimately ended with a girl who has both physical and mental scars to this day. (Trigger warnings abound)


_Note: This story takes place in the Mors Omnibus verse and is considerably darker than the other stories in that world. Also a gift for my good friend GRiDGALAXY who asked if I was ever going to write the backstory for Dawn._

_Answer: I am, and it is a tragedy. A very depressing tragedy._

_Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction and the events in this should NOT be replicated in any way, shape or form. If you are suffering through depression, mental illness or the like, please see a professional._

_And remember, even at the darkest of moments, there is always hope._

* * *

_**Everyone has a beginning.**_

_**For me? I had an end before I had a beginning.**_

_**It's been more than three years since that day, when a day at school turned into an afternoon of madness which culminated into a night that ended with a bang.**_

_**Even after I had moved on and my days are filled with love, happiness and hope, those thoughts still linger. Many people who walked in my shoes would do **_**anything** _**to relieve themselves of the trauma.**_

_**Me? I rather keep them on me.**_

_**They are a part of me like the stitches on my body, the color of my eyes and hair. If I were to remove such a thing, I would feel like my own soul was ripped into pieces. It would mean that I was denying the foundations that would make me the strong, powerful, confident lady I am today.**_

_**But as I write this down, staring at the glowing lights that sparkle down Stardust Road, I can't help but wipe the tears that fall down my face.**_

_**Just because I accepted my scars, doesn't mean that they don't hurt.**_

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**Between My Brother and Me:**

**Mea Culpa**

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**By Green Phantom Queen**

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**Prologue: Perchance to Dream**

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_I confess to almighty God_

_and to you, my brothers [and sisters],_

_that I have greatly sinned,_

_in my thoughts and in my words,_

_in what I have done and in what I have failed to do,_

_**through my fault, through my fault**__,_

_**through my most grievous fault**__;_

_therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin,_

_all the Angels and Saints,_

_and you, my brothers [and sisters],_

_to pray for me to the Lord our God._

_-Confiteor_

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When Dawn wakes up, she feels like she has just been run over by a truck.

There are aches and pains in her head, her arms, her legs...it feels like she has gone to the gym and decided to jumpstart her dream to become a bodybuilder. Even opening her eyes seems to be a struggle.

Gritting her teeth, the blue-haired slowly sits up, wincing at the bright light that intends to burn through her retinas. She has never woken up like this. What happened to her last night?

As she slowly sits up, she slowly begins to find her vision become much clearer than before. She is in her room, with a framed photo of her her, her mother and older brother when they were much younger by her bedside desk, posters of her favorite anime taped to the walls, the door to her closet open and revealing her favorite outfits, there is her penguin drone, Tango, cuddled by her side…

And, for some odd reason, there are various balloons, streamers and a bouquet of flowers by the corner.

Dawn squints and sees a banner saying "Get Well Soon" wrapped around a wreath of white roses. What happened? Was she...is she…

She places a hand on her head. She feels like everything is going to explode and she can hear someone scream her name.

"_Dawn! Please! I'm so sorry…"_

That voice...Dawn would know that voice just like she would know her own. Even if she became deaf, that voice would always resonate in her mind.

She looks down to her left and gasps. Sleeping by her side is her brother.

"Yusaku?" she whispers, slowly reaching towards him. "Yusaku…"

She shakes him gently, but it is enough for him to immediately sit up and look in alarm.

"Don't leave!" he screams, hand over his heart as his peridot eyes look at concerned sapphier eyes. "D...Dawn…"

"Nii-san…" Dawn whispers. Tears fill her eyes as she shouts, "Nii-san!"

She wraps her arms around him tight and sobs. Tears fall down her pale cheeks and splash onto Yusaku's wisteria hair. Her voice is loud as she cries out everything in her heart.

"What's going on?" Dawn hiccups. "Everything hurts...everything is just...I don't know what's going on! What happened to me?!

"It's going to be okay," Yusaku whispers, lightly stroking Dawn's hair. "I promise you that everything is going to be okay."

As he says this, he pulls his sister into a tight hug as if he is afraid that he is going to lose her. Dawn can feel him shiver, his voice breaking as he apologizes for everything that he has done and swearing that he will never ever let her go again.

However, when Dawn feels her brother wrap his arms around her, a memory forms in her mind.

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"_Nii-san! What are you saying? Ryoken-san...he's...he's..."_

"_He's the only one who understands my pain! Don't you understand?_

"_Why though? Why does he have to be all you care about? What about me? Nii-san, please..."_

"_Get away from me! Go away…"_

"_Please nii-san! Let me hug yo-"_

_SLAP!_

_She falls to the floor in shock, hand covering her cheek. _

_She looks in horror, body trembling at the person she loved more than life itself looking horror at what he has caused. She sniffles, voice hitching before she says those dreaded words._

"_I hate you, nii-san! I HATE YOU! I never ever want to see you again!"_

_And with that, she runs out of the bedroom, tears freely falling down her face._

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"Everything is going to be okay, Dawn. I promise."

Yusaku pats Dawn's shoulder as tears form in her eyes. She grits her teeth as the tears fall and she squeezes her brother's shoulders in return. Yusaku then releases himself from his sister as he waits for his sister to speak.

"Are you okay?" he asks. "It hurts right now, but it will get much better."

Dawn places a hand to her cheek as the tears flow freely. She feels the anger in her body rising like the tide, threatening to drown her, threatening to overtake her.

Then, she speaks.

"Will it really be okay?"

And then, Yusaku is hit with a force like that of a speeding truck.

He is sprawled out on the floor, loud enough for someone to burst into the room in horror. Dawn doesn't care who is there. Nothing could compare to the pain that she has felt.

Her brother, her beloved older brother, has the _gall_ to hug her and to tell her everything is going to be all right after what he did? After the pain he put her through?!

Does he honestly think that a simple apology and hug is going to undo _all of the anger and sorrow that has been bottled within her heart for years_?!

"Yusaku!"

Dawn turns to see Takeru enter the room, helping Yusaku sit up. The blue and pink haired boy looks in horror and rubs his cheek where Dawn slapped him.

At the idea of seeing Takeru cradle Yusaku with concern, a tic forms in her eye. Everyone cares for Yusaku, but she can't. Everyone shows pity for Yusaku, but the one who pities him the most can't comfort him. Everyone treat Yusaku like he is a prince, but she is nothing more than a _peasant_ in their eyes.

"Dawn," Takeru explains, turning his gaze towards her. "Please calm down, you don't understand."

Dawn grits her teeth as she gets out of bed. She grabs onto Takeru's arm and pulls him close to her, so that he can _see_ the unbridled fury in her eyes.

"I understand enough," she hisses.

And then, Takeru is thrown out of the room, right into Specter who has just arrived to see what is going on, and the two collide against the wall in pain. Yusaku crab-walks backwards as his sister slowly saunters towards him, feeling hurt, frustration and _anger_ with each step she takes.

"Who are you and what happened to my brother?" she asks. "You're not him! You're not him!"

"Dawn," Yusaku stammers. "Listen to me!"

"No, _you_ listen to _me_!" Dawn states, clenching her fists so hard that her nails start drawing blood. But she doesn't feel it; the physical pain is nothing to the emotional pain that flows out of her. "I have been by your side these past few years, wanting, begging, _praying_ that you would be healed. I wanted to wrap my arms around you, I wanted to be the one who _saved_ you. And what did you do?!"

"I...I…."

"You slapped me across the face! My own brother...My own BROTHER would slap me across the face! And it's all because of that _bastard_, Ryoken!"

Her body trembles. "Everything is his fault, his and his awful father's fault! If his father didn't kidnap you for the good of mankind, I'd still have my brother! If Ryoken didn't use his 'therapy' on you, you'd still be with me! But no! It always goes back to them. You want _them_ more than you want me!"

Tears fall down Yusaku's eyes. Tears of fear and hurt and sorrow and guilt….feelings that appear because of his little sister.

"I'm sorry…" Yusaku whispers. "I know that this won't be enough for everything I've done to you, but I promise...I _promise_ that I'm going to do whatever it takes, no matter how long it takes, to make it up to you. Please…" he takes Dawn's hand into his own. "Please forgive me…"

Dawn pauses as she feels Yusaku's hand in her own. For years has she wanted to do this, to hug her brother tight, to have him hug her in return. The closest she's ever gotten to do so is miming hugs in the air or holding her hands together as if she was holding Yusaku's hand into her very own.

This...this isn't real. This can't be real…

Dawn yanks her hand away from her brother's and then raises both hands into the air. Then, before Yusaku can even blink, they lunge toward his throat.

"D...Dawn…" Yusaku gasps. "W...Why?"

"Ryoken did something to you…" she growls. "You're not my brother anymore. I don't want you in my life...but I'll make sure that Ryoken doesn't have you either!"

Yusaku struggles to breathe...everything is turning black. He can see the anger on his sister's face. Never has he seen her this violent...never did he ever _wanted_ his sister to be this way.

Just as he feels like this is the end, he gasps as he sees his sister drop to the floor suddenly. He gasps for air, hand on his throat as he sees what has happened.

His sister is on the white shag carpet floor, immobilized, struggling to escape from numerous of glowing blue strings of light that bind her arms to her back, causing her to slither and writhe like a serpent.

"Dawn, calm down!"

Yusaku turns and sees two girls enter the room, slightly apprehensive. One of them wearing a pink dress with a long red vest draped over it. The other wears a black dress and has a parasol in hand.

"Yvonne! May!" says Yusaku. "Shouldn't you be at school right now?"

"After Ryoken told us about her waking up, and seeing Takeru and Specter out for the count, we decided to skip class," says Yvonne, looking down at her friend tangled up in her blue strings. Relief and sadness are reflected in her blue eyes. "Dawn…"

May crouches down to Dawn and tries to place a hand on her shoulder. Dawn growls, leaning forward to bite it.

"You," Dawn hisses. "You bitch! Why are you showing your face around here? Here to gloat that you have my best friend's attention now?!"

May shakes her head. "I'm sorry. That...that wasn't the plan all along."

"May is one of the reasons you're here right now," says Yvonne, feeling like her heart is breaking. She hasn't felt like this since the death of her brother. "Dawn, please listen to us!"

"Like how I listened to your little _lies_ back at school?" Dawn spits out. "How you would constantly avoid me because you had someone _cooler _and _creepier_ to satisfy your love of the macabre? I'm so _sorry_ that I just wasn't up to your standards then!"

"Who put these words into your head? Who would've…" Yvonne's eyes widen before she snarls. "Ursula, that filthy whore!"

"You believed her?" asks May. "That girl is so rotten that I'd _puke_ if I ever had to drink her blood!"

"I swear I am going to have my puppets perform a _lovely_ show the next time we meet," Yvonne snarls. "To think that she would do this…"

"Creating a domino effect that ended up with...that…" May shakes her head. "I'm to blame for this also. This is my fault."

"I share the blame, May," Yvonne says, patting the other girl's shoulder. "I should've said something, anything, about what we were getting into, but I didn't want Dawn in trouble….I couldn't get her out of trouble and now she's...she's been…Oh _Mourguet_, I can't even say it!" Her teeth starts chattering as she sobs, "I'm so sorry, Dawn! I'm so sorry that I let my best friend down!"

"I'm sorry, too!" May wails, tears falling down her alabaster face. "I was being too selfish...I was too concerned about what was happening that I took you away from someone who _truly_ needed you!"

May leans forward and sobs on Yvonne's chest as Yvonne strokes May's back. The glowing blue strings on her fingers still keeping Dawn bound to the floor.

"What are two you saying?" Dawn screeches. "You think that one day will just instantly make me forget everything that happened?! You think that I'm just gonna forget what you did to me?""

Yvonne pauses as she wipes the tears from her eyes.

"You...you only think that a single _day _has passed?" she whispers. "Dawn…"

"What? What is it?" Dawn can now see the look of shock on Yvonne's face; rarely does her friend ever look so horrified. Something is wrong. Something is _terribly_ wrong.

May wrings her umbrella tight before she looks up, also sharing the same look on Yvonne's face. In fact, even _Yusaku_ is looking in horror as he places a hand on her shoulder.

"Dawn," he whispers. "It hasn't been a single day. You've been unconscious for three weeks."


End file.
